Mom Guilt

So let’s talk about the elephant in every mom’s room - Mom Guilt. Every mom feels a pang of guilt about something - neglecting friends or prior commitments, feeding your child formula, not being able to produce milk, guilt over feeling tired and snapping at your children etc. etc., I could go on forever.

For me, I have never felt as judged, pressured and interrogated as what I have been now and it’s all about what I am feeding Sutton. Luckily for me, I genuinely do not care what anyone thinks. As long as my love bug is growing, happy and healthy, why would I? But I know that there are so many momma's out there that feel immense pressure about this topic in particular.

Sutton, the light of our lives

I’ll disclose my personal feeding experience. If you have read my previous blogs, you will know that when Sutton was born, I had an allergic reaction which caused my eyes to swell shut.

Once I was back in my room, they brought Sutton over to try to breastfeed off of me. How they expected me to assist Sutton to latch onto my nipple when I could not see what he or I was doing, is beyond me. Sutton could not latch on to me as I was later told that I have ‘flat’ nipples. I didn't even know that there was such a thing until that moment. Now, however, with the assistance of nipple shields, I am able to feed Sutton.

For lack of a better description, because Sutton could not latch at the hospital and therefore couldn’t eat, the nursing staff ‘milked’ me like a cow, and fed him the colostrum from a spoon. For those who have not had a baby, when you check in to the hospital to give birth, you leave all dignity and pride at the door.

By the last day, I have to admit that Damian and I were exhausted with the pro-breastfeeding vendetta where they refused to feed Sutton (who was screaming uncontrollably from hunger) some formula. Do not get me wrong, I am well aware of the importance and benefits of breast milk, but in no world will I ever be happy about any child screaming for food. In my humble opinion, fed is best. When we left the hospital, a friend kindly lent us her breast pump, and I have since been expressing milk during the day and breastfeeding with a shield at night. Sutton is happy and has gained a healthy amount of weight.

Look at how beautiful our boy is

The truth is, no one can tell you how to raise your child. No child is the same, and no situation is the same. As long as you and your baba are happy, who cares what anyone else thinks. I surely don’t.

I took this snap when Sutton was 3 weeks old

I know that people often give their opinion/advise to best assist you. I also know that it comes from a good and kind place but maybe only give your advice if asked. As first time parents things are overwhelming and what we need is support and love, not judgement and opinion. Also, just like a child - the best way for us to learn is by doing and making mistakes.

My happy place - at home with my boy in my arms

This post is dedicated to all you mamas out there. Lord knows that we are winging it in this journey, but hey look at the great job you are doing. Carry on doing you. You know what’s best for your child.